Happy holidays from 3D Travel

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

It's the beginning of the holiday week, so hopefully you all have days off coming (or you're already enjoying them) to spend with friends and family, sleeping in, eating lots of good food, catching up on movies — ya know, holiday stuff. From the looks of it, the Mainland is going to be socked in with snow and rain this week, and though we're trying to send some sunshine your way, we seem only to be contributing to the problem. Sorry!

3D Travel had its holiday party recently with food, gifts and fun (see photos above), and though it had some local flavor (Maui Caramacs were gifted in abundance), I think the blog needs something with a little more "flavah." There are a couple versions of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" in pidgin, which in Hawaii is local-speak that blends English with Hawaiian, Japanese, Portuguese, Chinese and other languages of people who immigrated here during the plantation era.

I picked the one popularized by Maui radio host Kathy Collins. You'll have fun reading it, but if you want a taste of what she sounds like speaking pidgin, here's a Happy New Year recording she did for Maui Magazine (her work is archived on there, too). Happy holidays!

“Da Night Bafo Christmas”

By Kathy Collins, from "Moonbows for Christmas"

Was da night bafo’ Christmas, and all ova’ da place,
Not even da geckos was showin’ their face.

Da stockings was hangin’ on top da TV
(‘Cause no mo’ fireplace in Hawai’i)

Da kids stay all crashed, my old man too.
They leave all da work for you-know-who.

So me, I stay pickin’ up alla their toys,
When – boom! – outside get only big noise!

I run to da window, I open ‘em up,
I stick out my head and I yell, “Eh! Whassup?!”

And then, I no can ba-lieve what I seen!
Was so unreal, you know what I mean?

This fat haole guy get his reindeers in my yard!
And reindeers not housebroken, you know, as’ why hard!

But nemmind, this Christmas, so I cut ‘em some slack.
Plus, had uku pile presents pokin’ outta his sack!

So I wait ’till he pau tie up his reindeer,
Then I yell out da window, “Huui! Brah, ova hea!”

An’ I tell ‘em first thing, when I open da door,
“Eh, Hemo your shoes! You going dirty my floor!”

He take off his boots, he tell, “You know who I am?”
I go, “Ho! From the smell, must be Mr. Toe Jam!”

He make mempachi eyes and he go, “Ho, ho, ho!”
By now, I stay thinking this guy kinda slow!

He look like my Tutu, but little less weight,
And his beard stay so white, mo’ white than shark bait!

He stay all in red, specially his nose,
And get reindeer spit on top his nice clothes!

But him, he no care; he just smile at me,
And he start fo’ put presents unda-neath da tree.

I tell ‘em, “Eh, brah, no need make li’dat,
And watch where you step! You going ma-ke da cat!”

Then, out from his bag, he pull one brand new computah,
Choke video games, and one motorized scootah!

He try for fill up da Christmas socks too,
But had so much pukas, all da stuff went fall troo.

When he pau, I tell ‘em, “Eh Santa, try wait!
I get plenty leftovahs, I go make you one plate!”

But he nevah like hang, he had so much fo’ do;
Gotta make all them small kids’ wishes come true.

So I wave ‘em goodbye, and I flash ‘em da shaka,
And I tell ‘em, “Mele Kalikimaka!”

When he hear that, he stop…and I telling you true,
He go, “Garans ball-barans! Merry Christmas to you!”

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